Pieces of Me...

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I haven't written in a while, but tonight I sit full of thoughts, questions, and needing to be in a better place mentally. I sometimes wonder how you know when its time to let go and walk away from people, things, and situations that just aren't good for you. Letting go sounds easy, but can be made hard by those things you allow to keep you.

I've never wallowed in my past to keep me stuck, nor have I been ashamed of it. Something about dealing with so much in life after the book; makes it seem easier to just go back to those familiar things. Even in my feeling this way I remember how happiness was so far away from me at one time. They say; "Life is what you make it" and even in our making it there are some things we just don't get away from.


My thing is loneliness and the lack of TRUE companionship in the form of a significant other.Hence the song choice for today. I've been so consumed with ministry, myself, and my daughter that sometimes I wonder... What if I never am found by that person? What if I live a life alone? If you don't hear any other part of the song I want you to hear the line... "I'm the most beautiful girl in the world".... I have to remind myself of that because if I am not sure and confident of who I am; I would need someone to validate (compliment) me. Yes, we all have those things that we ponder on (If you can tell the truth on you) in the dead of night when there is only you, your thoughts, and God. I always motivate, encourage, and push my readers to live and sometimes I forget to just be honest with myself.

Someone may feel the same as I do, but to that person I say continue to be hopeful that the future will bring better days and more happiness than you know what to do with. I'm not a quitter, nor do I give up easily. Sometimes its good to be open so that you can be free and have piece of mind. But, whatever you do; never underestimate the place that you're  in, because life has a funny way of sneaking up on you. So, remember to love like there is no tomorrow and always believe that God has more in store for you, even in your waiting....

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The point of it all..

Good morning all! This morning I woke up feeling kinda groggy, but never the less I am thankful. Listening to some Rihanna to get my day going and begin to think about relationships. What would be the perfect relationship? I know many of us have different views on what is and what isn't the crem de la crem'. In my quest for growth I have learned so much about myself that I never knew and that changed a lot of the way that I thought about relationships as a whole. Honestly, have you gotten to know the best of you before you decided to get involved with someone? Don't bust your brain trying to answer that question because if your honest the answer is no. I thought I knew myself until I had to be put into a situation where I had no choice but learn to be content and happy alone. Trust me the process wasn't easy because I had never been alone and as far as I can remember I always had a man in my life. I actually felt bad when I found out that I had to cope without what I considered to be security. Trust me in the beginning it was not easy, but as time progressed things got better. Once you begin to accept things about you that others have had to deal with you get a better respect for people in general. A lot of the things I found out about myself were not good, but me being alone has given me time to work on those things. How can we be good for or with someone when we are not happy with ourselves? I wonder if we ever stop to say "let me make sure I'm ready" instead of just making decisions based on our emotions as we often times do. I was so clouded at one point in life that I really didn't know what love was and when it came to me genuinly in the form of a relationship I didn't know how to process it. So, that lead me to another question. If you have no idea of what love is; how can you receive it without thinking there are motives behind it or be able to give that same love back? These things are not as complicated as they seem, but they are important. My grandmother used to tell us that love is what it does, I have found that to be so true. Love is more than a mere word its an action and to live it and walk in it you have to know that it won't always be the best. We live life and experience a range of things but at the end of the day love is what will remain. So, when you're confused about what you want out of life and where it is you think you should be do a self check and see if you are satisfied with the results you come up with. Have a great day and smile...

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